Friday, September 10, 2010

Normal

In juxtaposition to my title, I am about to do something that is not actually so normal for my blog...or myself. I've decided to open up and make this blog something interesting. Not that learning all about Belle's progress isn't interesting... for me & Grandma ;) (and who else really reads this anyway?). One of the reasons why I started this is because I love to write. But because I'm a little hesitant to voice my opinions, I don't do much writing on here. So I'm going to talk more about what it's like to be a mom, and what I'm doing to create a world for my baby. SO get the word out, mommies because I'm hoping for a dialogue. I want reactions from people and I want to see how other moms view raising a kid right now.

Katie was over here the other day and we were swimming with our little ones (hers is getting bigger) and yes, drinking a little wine and she brought up something that I've thought a lot about. A friend from Omaha has a blog in which she talked about how she gets to create normal for her child. Katie mentioned that she liked this idea. And I like it too. But also I think it's pretty scarey. After being around children in class, I've seen a lot of different "normals" and it's true that children see the way their life is not only as normal, but as the way all life is. As though every child has what they have, does what they do and not only that but even more specifically, children cannot grasp what may happen when they are not present or that which is outside of them. I digress, but the point is that creating normalcy is really important.

I want Belle's "normal" to be what is actually normal. Which I realize is a very abstract and subjective idea. I'm guessing that lots of people who know me have been surprised or wondered at (but never ventured to ask about) some of my parenting choices. I think everyone does this about others because they are debating how to raise their own children, or their hypothetical children or thinking about the ones they already raised. Anyway, I let Belle watch TV because TV is normal. I let Belle eat fudgepops because that's normal too (and they are delicious). I don't do these things without thought, which is I think why many people oppose the idea. The notion is that parents feed their children junk and fill their brains with junk thoughtlessly and because it's easy. But maybe some people do it because it's fun and they love to see their kids smile. Maybe some parents (like this one) want their children to eat for health and happiness. I hope that someday Belle will sit in her dormroom with a best friend or a new friend, eat a fudgepop, watch something horrendous on TV and laugh. And I also hope that she isn't tempted to do this every day for 24 hours a day, and that is why it is not forbidden in our home.

So that's my incredibly long rant. I feel really weird about posting it, but I think I'm going to give it a try. And speaking of normal....


                                                                        GO IRISH!

6 comments:

  1. Well said, Mama Carrie!

    I totally agree with you, and I think you and I have similar parenting styles. Jazzy and I watch "Yo Gabba Gabba" because he loves it. He loves the colors, the characters, singing the songs together, and having Mommy help him dance the way Foofa does.

    And once every week, he and I go out to the local ice cream shop and share frozen yogurt together.

    I do it because we love doing it together. I do it because he loves it and enjoys it, just as much as I do. I think it's about moderation and a healthy and happy balance. Clearly, Belle has that, and I hope I've givent that to Jasper.

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  2. I loved this post friend, I am so glad that you shared...And I am right there with you. Lyla sometimes eats cookies (and no dinner)...some days are spent watching tv (sometimes the same movie twice)...sometimes she stays up late because we are having so much fun...and it works for us! What is normal anyway? Don't ever let anyone judge your parenting because you are the best possible mother for Belle. She is so lucky to have you and it is about creating precious memories. And I agree, everything in moderation. Belle will turn out just perfectly. Xoxo. Miss you.

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  3. Nice work, Carr. It's interesting what society and trends say we should do, and what is actually good and 'normal' for our kids.

    Example: I have tried for 10 months to feed my boy 'healthy' food and three months ago he stopped eating. Went out for dinner tonight with my family and he stuffed himself full of non-organic, ground meat scary pasta, mashed potatoes and meatballs.

    Sometimes you've just gotta do what you know. Lets get together for a Yo Gabba Gabba date with the kids!

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  4. "I let Belle watch TV because TV is normal. I let Belle eat fudgepops because that's normal too" my favorite line. I'm glad you wrote about this, we mamas need to keep talks like this to help each other out. Happy kids turn into happy adults, and hopefully along the way we can instill some wisdom and kindness:) And if Jack continues to refuse vegetables the rest of his life... we'll take a multi-vitamin and get over it!
    Man, what wisdom we come across when we drink wine in the pool, we obviously need to do that more often!!

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  5. LOVE this Carr...I think we spoke a little about this during our quick trip to Montana but I TOTALLY agree. I remember before I had Jordyn I thought I would be the kind of mom who made all my own baby food, didn't let my kids watch TV for a few years and would make sure I had a very well behaved kid. Well once reality struck I realized that this is NOT actually what I want for my children. I don't want them to lead such a restricted childhood that they miss out on ice cream, cookies, movies, TV and running crazy...these things were all such AWESOME parts of my own childhood and make me remember childhood so fondly...Granted I agree that I don't want them sitting on the couch eating McDonald's and watching TV 24/7 but I feel like by not restricting these things now they won't feel like such a commodity later on when I am not in charge. Thanks for a mommyhood reality check and for making us all realize that normal is NORMAL!

    PS. Me and my two mommy friends are taking our kiddos to see Yo Gabba Gabba live in 2 weeks...it is like toddler CRACK!

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  6. Carrie,
    I hope this post didn't come from you feeling judged as a mother. I feel like women are all so often insecure about their own parenting decisions that they are MUCH too quick to attack others instead of support them.

    I have to tell you, Brandon's mother restricted his sugar intake significantly when he was a kid. It as out of love because he was a very energetic little one, but he then made up for in in college by eating a gallon of ice cream for dinner about 5 days a week. Once he had the freedom to eat from the forbidden fruit he GORGED. Luckily for him he had that college metabolism. But I'm saying - I agree with you. Learning moderation and self control is important.

    Now... what was that amazing ice cream shop your mom used to take us to in middle school after shopping at the fashion square. I used to LOVE that.
    xx cous.

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